Maturity?
Okay, I know that I am not good at keeping myself up with something that I promised to. For instance, I have abandoned this blog for more than a month. Do you remember what I wrote on my "Preparation Fatigue" article that I let my friend down? I know that I am not punctual and I am terrible at committing myself to something. And I've put my effort to overcome these negative behaviors. Yet, some people criticize me to become someone who possesses excellent behaviors beyond my league. My Mother identifies maturity as being able to socialize with adults only, not to play video games, not to watch cartoons and to engage in brain-stimulating discussions. My Brother identifies maturity as being able to refute and object to opposite ideas, to stand to what you believe, and to engage in brain-stimulating discussions. My best friend identifies maturity as, in addition to my Mom's and Brother's opinions, to be organized and behave more mature and become more serious. I don't possess some (or need I say most) of those qualities. Am I not mature then? What is mature anyway?
According to Merriam-Webster Online (this is my all time favorite online dictionary and thesaurus. Free access.), mature, derived from latin word mane (in the morning) or manus (good), is defined as:
1. Based on slow careful consideration (a mature judgment).
2. a. (1) Having completed natural growth and development (ripe) (2) Having undergone maturation.
b. Having attained a final or desired state.
c. Having achieved a low but stable growth rate.
3. a. Of or relating to a condition of full development.
b. Characteristic of or suitable to a mature individual.
4. Due for payment.
5. Belonging to the middle portion of a cycle of erosion (maturely, adverb).
Based on those definitions above, we see that mature (or maturity) is viewed as two conditional definitions, the physical insight and the psychological insight. The physical insight point of view is obvious, a creature reaches the state of maturity if that creature is able to produce sexual hormones, and therefore, is able to reproduce and deliver offspring. The psychological insight point of view is rather more complex; although it focuses on common, universal values, to do the right things in a careful consideration, it varies among each individual according to the customs each adapts. The complexity of psychological maturity is due to the various peripheral norms (please refer to Dinar's Awakening article which I posted a comment). Norms are divided in two different perspectives, the base norms which are common and universal, and the peripheral norms which vary among different institutions and different society. The base norms usually agree with religions and universal human rights. The peripheral norms evolve within the society in accordance with the base norms.
The peripheral norms which base on customs dictate how someone has to be polite, to be punctual, to be wise, to be open-minded, to be tolerant, etc in order to be fully acceptable in society. In theory, if we don't follow the peripheral norms, we are considered creative. But are you creative if you are always late or if you are egoistic or self-centered? Well, people will not reject you though, they will avoid making a strict appointment if you are not punctual (you're rarely on time) or will try their best to have less contact and try to avoid you if you are egoistic and self-centered. The dilemma is that to possess good qualities in order to be acceptable by society (or mostly to avoid severe critics) on one hand, yet on the other hand, to still do and behave according to your basic personalities.
Well, what can we do then? People's expectations vary among different generations, different institutions, different tribes, and even each individual. Peripheral norms never stop evolving as a result of assimilation of various cultures due to rapid advancement of mass media and telecommunication. The society is dynamic and the world revolves. Although we are required to do the right things in a careful consideration, the way to reach such state differs among generations. What our ancestors believed and practiced may not be (or are not) the same as what we believe and practice today.
With this in mind, can we still live up to people's belief? Can we be creative? Can we ever reach the state of awakening? Can we be 99.99% mature? If you think you can, well, congratulation then, you just receive a free ticket to heaven when you pass away. But my answer is a BIG NO. As was mentioned that cultures assimilate, society moves dynamically, the world revolves, it is slightly impossible to learn and behave according to all of those norms and expectations; we can never reach the state of awakening. As every man has a feminine side and every woman has a masculine side, every adult has a childish side. There is a saying or a fact that a man has a masculine side to a feminine side in a ratio of 51:49, and a woman has a feminine side to a masculine side in a similar ratio. By following that ratio, all we can do is to balance our mature side to our childish side in which our mature side outweigh our childish side. The analogy is that every man should be able to express his emotion and value beauty (or art) and that every woman should be able to be strong in a tough time and be independent. Being too mature means being too serious which make us dull. We start our lives as children, we can never eliminate our childish sides, but we can try to be better and wiser without sacrificing our base personalities. In the end, the right thing to do is to be open-minded, to accept differences and critics, live up to your best according to your personalities. Dare yourself to be different, to be unique, since differences compose the world to be eclectic.
According to Merriam-Webster Online (this is my all time favorite online dictionary and thesaurus. Free access.), mature, derived from latin word mane (in the morning) or manus (good), is defined as:
1. Based on slow careful consideration (a mature judgment).
2. a. (1) Having completed natural growth and development (ripe) (2) Having undergone maturation.
b. Having attained a final or desired state.
c. Having achieved a low but stable growth rate.
3. a. Of or relating to a condition of full development.
b. Characteristic of or suitable to a mature individual.
4. Due for payment.
5. Belonging to the middle portion of a cycle of erosion (maturely, adverb).
Based on those definitions above, we see that mature (or maturity) is viewed as two conditional definitions, the physical insight and the psychological insight. The physical insight point of view is obvious, a creature reaches the state of maturity if that creature is able to produce sexual hormones, and therefore, is able to reproduce and deliver offspring. The psychological insight point of view is rather more complex; although it focuses on common, universal values, to do the right things in a careful consideration, it varies among each individual according to the customs each adapts. The complexity of psychological maturity is due to the various peripheral norms (please refer to Dinar's Awakening article which I posted a comment). Norms are divided in two different perspectives, the base norms which are common and universal, and the peripheral norms which vary among different institutions and different society. The base norms usually agree with religions and universal human rights. The peripheral norms evolve within the society in accordance with the base norms.
The peripheral norms which base on customs dictate how someone has to be polite, to be punctual, to be wise, to be open-minded, to be tolerant, etc in order to be fully acceptable in society. In theory, if we don't follow the peripheral norms, we are considered creative. But are you creative if you are always late or if you are egoistic or self-centered? Well, people will not reject you though, they will avoid making a strict appointment if you are not punctual (you're rarely on time) or will try their best to have less contact and try to avoid you if you are egoistic and self-centered. The dilemma is that to possess good qualities in order to be acceptable by society (or mostly to avoid severe critics) on one hand, yet on the other hand, to still do and behave according to your basic personalities.
Well, what can we do then? People's expectations vary among different generations, different institutions, different tribes, and even each individual. Peripheral norms never stop evolving as a result of assimilation of various cultures due to rapid advancement of mass media and telecommunication. The society is dynamic and the world revolves. Although we are required to do the right things in a careful consideration, the way to reach such state differs among generations. What our ancestors believed and practiced may not be (or are not) the same as what we believe and practice today.
With this in mind, can we still live up to people's belief? Can we be creative? Can we ever reach the state of awakening? Can we be 99.99% mature? If you think you can, well, congratulation then, you just receive a free ticket to heaven when you pass away. But my answer is a BIG NO. As was mentioned that cultures assimilate, society moves dynamically, the world revolves, it is slightly impossible to learn and behave according to all of those norms and expectations; we can never reach the state of awakening. As every man has a feminine side and every woman has a masculine side, every adult has a childish side. There is a saying or a fact that a man has a masculine side to a feminine side in a ratio of 51:49, and a woman has a feminine side to a masculine side in a similar ratio. By following that ratio, all we can do is to balance our mature side to our childish side in which our mature side outweigh our childish side. The analogy is that every man should be able to express his emotion and value beauty (or art) and that every woman should be able to be strong in a tough time and be independent. Being too mature means being too serious which make us dull. We start our lives as children, we can never eliminate our childish sides, but we can try to be better and wiser without sacrificing our base personalities. In the end, the right thing to do is to be open-minded, to accept differences and critics, live up to your best according to your personalities. Dare yourself to be different, to be unique, since differences compose the world to be eclectic.
:: posted by Fari Nasution @
10:46 PM ::
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