Mere Words from the Heart: A Journal of the Autumn Hype
Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart - William Shakespeare
Entry #11803-1:
Pianissimo [It's 12:00 noon. These lazy eyes are staring at the window; staring at those yellowish and brownish leaves, which most of them have fallen. The gray sky gives a gloomy feeling and the road is dampened with few puddles here and there.]
Fall season is on its peak nowadays. The weather has been steadily cold lately, around 50 degrees (or around 10 degree Celsius). Trees are starting to get bald, leaves are messing roads and contraptions everywhere. I was planning to give a presentation on my paper for my independent study and then work in my office when suddenly I woke up with soreness all over my body and a slight soreness on my throat. I cross my fingers that this will not take into a more severe effect. I need my health to realize my plan up to February.
Particularly in this kind of weather is when I miss my Madam the most. Ah, her cute voice, her warmth, her picturesque, angelic face. Ah, her stories: what she's done at school, what she does with her "Josephine" cadaver, what she does to spend some time with her roommate(s), and how she plays and interacts with our unborn. It's going to be another 2 weeks until I meet her again, on the week of thanksgiving, which will be on the 27th of November. It is the same day when I was born 30 years ago and the same day my Parents vowed to spend their lives together in a holy matrimony 31 years ago. It's interesting that I was born a year after my Parents wedded and how the last Thursday of November is the day of thanksgiving here in the states.
Pianissimo [These lazy eyes turn to the corner of my bedroom. A little messy I must say: plastic bags, a sport bag, and a small luggage are laying on the corner of my bedroom. I don't actually dwell in this bedroom; it's not my original escape, definitely not my haven. After 6 months, I will finally bid adieu to this bedroom.]
I don't consider where I stay here in Richmond my permanent residence. I always feel Northern Virginia is my home here in the states. Northern Virginia, and all other parts of Washington D.C. area, is where my family lives: my Uncle and his family, my second Cousin who is of my age, my distant Aunt and her family, and my In-Laws who live in Rockville, Maryland. I know, I know, not-permanently staying in Richmond does not lend me an excuse for being unkempt. The only thing I have in this bedroom by the way, is an airbed, pretty much giving you the idea of how I feel that I don't belong here.
I live about 40 minutes away down to south from downtown Richmond. It's a nice suburb area with many white Americans dwelling here. It's interesting to see the demographic distribution in the states. That stereotype, rubbed on our faces by those Hollywood movies, by which the area where black Americans and Hispanics dwell is often for real. Often this area takes place if not in the downtown area or in the east side of a city. This is the area that people call the ghetto, the slum area where the crime rate is often slightly higher compared to the crime rate in other areas of the city.
Interestingly, almost all cities in the states have their ghetto area in the east side. At least based on my experience living in St. Louis-Missouri, Washington D.C., and Richmond-Virginia. On the other hand, the west side is often filled by those mid-to-upper class white people. This area is often a convenient place to live with many family-friendly facilities. Midlothian, where I live, is not so much of a difference from the west side of Richmond. But its comfortable and convenient atmosphere sort of makes me feel unmotivated most of the times. I don't normally work from home cause I feel unmotivated once I'm home. But interestingly, this is not the case when I'm originally home in Arlington (D.C. area).
Pianissimo [These lazy eyes now turn to this laptop screen, staring at two electronic documents I composed earlier today. These documents have just been delivered to their proper owner, the one who is going to determine my future. The one who has been kind enough to me; the one with an extraordinary patience to deal with my tardiness.]
As I have managed to overcome my problem with anxiety, there emerges a new problem: I have become a bit of a laid-back type of person, if not too much that this causes a lot of delays in my daily schedule. I know, I know, it is something that I must deal with; a tardiness that has put many as victims. It's my way of overcoming that uneasy feeling whenever I'm bound to tight schedule and unmerciful deadlines; that essentially I'm not going to die just because I'm being late. Yes, I learn to overcome this in a not-so acceptable way.
Pianissimo [These lazy eyes turn to the window once again. The aura of the sky looks steady, the air seems motionless, the remaining leaves drip water drops. Rain has seemed to pour while these lazy eyes stare at this virtual diary of mine. I have seemed to be suspended in this bogus moment as I'm recording my life in this virtual diary.]
The bald trees mark the hype of autumn
The yellowish brown leaves announce the peak of autumn
That stream of melody applauds the gloomy sky of autumn
Streaming in harmony with the pouring rain of autumn
Note: the second picture on this entry belongs to Kris Cahill.
Entry #11803-1:
Pianissimo [It's 12:00 noon. These lazy eyes are staring at the window; staring at those yellowish and brownish leaves, which most of them have fallen. The gray sky gives a gloomy feeling and the road is dampened with few puddles here and there.]
Fall season is on its peak nowadays. The weather has been steadily cold lately, around 50 degrees (or around 10 degree Celsius). Trees are starting to get bald, leaves are messing roads and contraptions everywhere. I was planning to give a presentation on my paper for my independent study and then work in my office when suddenly I woke up with soreness all over my body and a slight soreness on my throat. I cross my fingers that this will not take into a more severe effect. I need my health to realize my plan up to February.
Particularly in this kind of weather is when I miss my Madam the most. Ah, her cute voice, her warmth, her picturesque, angelic face. Ah, her stories: what she's done at school, what she does with her "Josephine" cadaver, what she does to spend some time with her roommate(s), and how she plays and interacts with our unborn. It's going to be another 2 weeks until I meet her again, on the week of thanksgiving, which will be on the 27th of November. It is the same day when I was born 30 years ago and the same day my Parents vowed to spend their lives together in a holy matrimony 31 years ago. It's interesting that I was born a year after my Parents wedded and how the last Thursday of November is the day of thanksgiving here in the states.
Pianissimo [These lazy eyes turn to the corner of my bedroom. A little messy I must say: plastic bags, a sport bag, and a small luggage are laying on the corner of my bedroom. I don't actually dwell in this bedroom; it's not my original escape, definitely not my haven. After 6 months, I will finally bid adieu to this bedroom.]
I don't consider where I stay here in Richmond my permanent residence. I always feel Northern Virginia is my home here in the states. Northern Virginia, and all other parts of Washington D.C. area, is where my family lives: my Uncle and his family, my second Cousin who is of my age, my distant Aunt and her family, and my In-Laws who live in Rockville, Maryland. I know, I know, not-permanently staying in Richmond does not lend me an excuse for being unkempt. The only thing I have in this bedroom by the way, is an airbed, pretty much giving you the idea of how I feel that I don't belong here.
I live about 40 minutes away down to south from downtown Richmond. It's a nice suburb area with many white Americans dwelling here. It's interesting to see the demographic distribution in the states. That stereotype, rubbed on our faces by those Hollywood movies, by which the area where black Americans and Hispanics dwell is often for real. Often this area takes place if not in the downtown area or in the east side of a city. This is the area that people call the ghetto, the slum area where the crime rate is often slightly higher compared to the crime rate in other areas of the city.
Interestingly, almost all cities in the states have their ghetto area in the east side. At least based on my experience living in St. Louis-Missouri, Washington D.C., and Richmond-Virginia. On the other hand, the west side is often filled by those mid-to-upper class white people. This area is often a convenient place to live with many family-friendly facilities. Midlothian, where I live, is not so much of a difference from the west side of Richmond. But its comfortable and convenient atmosphere sort of makes me feel unmotivated most of the times. I don't normally work from home cause I feel unmotivated once I'm home. But interestingly, this is not the case when I'm originally home in Arlington (D.C. area).Pianissimo [These lazy eyes now turn to this laptop screen, staring at two electronic documents I composed earlier today. These documents have just been delivered to their proper owner, the one who is going to determine my future. The one who has been kind enough to me; the one with an extraordinary patience to deal with my tardiness.]
As I have managed to overcome my problem with anxiety, there emerges a new problem: I have become a bit of a laid-back type of person, if not too much that this causes a lot of delays in my daily schedule. I know, I know, it is something that I must deal with; a tardiness that has put many as victims. It's my way of overcoming that uneasy feeling whenever I'm bound to tight schedule and unmerciful deadlines; that essentially I'm not going to die just because I'm being late. Yes, I learn to overcome this in a not-so acceptable way.
Pianissimo [These lazy eyes turn to the window once again. The aura of the sky looks steady, the air seems motionless, the remaining leaves drip water drops. Rain has seemed to pour while these lazy eyes stare at this virtual diary of mine. I have seemed to be suspended in this bogus moment as I'm recording my life in this virtual diary.]
The bald trees mark the hype of autumn
The yellowish brown leaves announce the peak of autumn
That stream of melody applauds the gloomy sky of autumn
Streaming in harmony with the pouring rain of autumn
Whatever happens on this lane is mine
Whatever bursts in agony in my mind is mine
How autumn shreds this sanity in me is mine
How autumn steals my symphony away is mine
The small puddles celebrate the height of autumn
The motionless air stays to tell fairy tales to autumn
The cold weather is chilling with autumn
Streaming in harmony with the grayish sky of autumn
Whatever bursts in agony in my mind is mine
How autumn shreds this sanity in me is mine
How autumn steals my symphony away is mine
The small puddles celebrate the height of autumn
The motionless air stays to tell fairy tales to autumn
The cold weather is chilling with autumn
Streaming in harmony with the grayish sky of autumn
How autumn laughs at my face is mine
How autumn mocks my dignity is mine
Wherever I run to is mine
Wherever I stare at is mine
Midlothian, November 13, 2008
Muhamad F. Nasution
How autumn mocks my dignity is mine
Wherever I run to is mine
Wherever I stare at is mine
The ants hide away from autumn
The squirrels shy away from autumn
This tempo sways along with autumn
Winter lays her head in the upcoming death of autumn
The squirrels shy away from autumn
This tempo sways along with autumn
Winter lays her head in the upcoming death of autumn
Wherever I point at is mine
Wherever I dwell in is mine
Whatever I am mimicking is mine
Whatever I have done...
...is deceiving this humanity of mine
Wherever I dwell in is mine
Whatever I am mimicking is mine
Whatever I have done...
...is deceiving this humanity of mine
Midlothian, November 13, 2008
Muhamad F. Nasution
Note: the second picture on this entry belongs to Kris Cahill.
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